Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
