Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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