if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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