You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Damn victory sex feels great
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
