I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You made out with two different species that night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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