I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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