If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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