So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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