You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
