imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
