take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
