I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
