I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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