We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
