Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
