remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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