Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
