I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
