Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
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I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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