they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
