Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
