i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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