Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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