I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize