Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
