I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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