You're so nebulous sometimes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
