Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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