hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize