Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
