All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
