Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
