glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
