their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
