Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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