she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
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His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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