after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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