Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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