Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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