In the future we'll all be gay
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
