Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
