careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
