Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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