I want to make a zoo with you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize