genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
