you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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