Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
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Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza