I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.