the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar