the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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