Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
