Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
