is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
