do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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