Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
