What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
