Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
