He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
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I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize