D3 body, D1 cock
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize