: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize