We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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