well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
ttyl tear gas
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
