Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
