Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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