Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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